I am usually not one for religion, any religion actually. Most of us grow up learning one religion and as we get older, our faith remains strong or we start seeing the glass half empty instead of half full. That's how I saw it.
I was brought up to be Christian. Us children used to go to church with an elderly neighbor as far as I can remember, but that was so long ago that its hard to remember everything correctly. But as I grew, I fell away from that habit. Everyday I thought, "There is no Lord. If there were, then all of things wouldn't happen to me, to my family, to people I know. There wouldn't be so much fighting and hatred amongst people who are suppose to love each other. There is no Lord, because He's not protecting or guiding me."
Recently, I believe I've had a change of heart.
I could barely sleep one night. Tossed and turned, had a ton of nonsense running through my head. Thoughts of things that just kept bringing me down. But I finally got to sleep, for a little while. I woke shortly after 2am and again had those thoughts eating at me. These thoughts have been here a while, I began to believe they were going to stay. I felt like giving up on the things that I wanted to do. "What's it matter." I thought. "I'll never be where I want to be. These people are right to say the things they say about me, because I am no better than they say I am." But it stopped. Something told me STOP! "These people are trying to tear you down to their level. You are better than that. Where have they gotten? And where are you? What have you began to do for yourself, for your future?" An unexplained strength hit me and I felt like crying. These words are true, but I never find myself saying them enough. I'm so quick to put myself down, but this strength, it was all the things I needed to hear, without a voice.
I believe the strength that came to me that early morning was the work of the Lord. Something I used to know in my heart, in my roots, but have drifted away from with disbelief. This revelation couldn't have come at a better time though. I guess its true that as we get older, our "Religion Cup" looks half empty instead of half full and sometimes it just takes something happening for someone to find that other half of the glass again.
